Fat and thin people dating
She says, “Look, I really like you, you’re truly a good guy, I think. On behalf of all the fat girls, I’m making you represent all the guys.” By making Louie represent “all the guys” on behalf of “all the fat girls,” Vanessa conjures the junction of where the big, impersonal beast of gendered, sociopolitical systems of power intersect with the intimate, personal, deeply subjective terrain of relationships between particular individuals.Vanessa wasn’t just recounting her experience of dating as a fat woman; she was demanding recognition that she was worthy of respect and love in a culture hell-bent on denying fat women both.Sometimes it feels like I’m not even there, or that I’m not supposed to be.This double bind of hypervisibility and invisibility is manifested in sex and dating for fat women between the extremes of fat fetishization and sexual violence specifically targeting fat women, such as the practice of “hogging,” which is when men, often in groups, seek out fat women for sexual encounters as a joke.Her words were not merely personal, but also political. had overstepped his bounds, speaking for fat women while fat women’s own attempts at articulating their experiences have been mostly ignored.Not everyone was as impressed with Vanessa’s monologue as I was. As Emily Nussbaum asserted in the credit for breaking a supposed tv taboo against discussing women’s experiences of love, sex, and being fat. For decades, there’s been plenty of television exploring these themes—from on.” Nussbaum, and other critics who agreed with her, felt that the show was garnering undue attention while it ignored previous representations of fat women in pop culture and the media.
One of the things that made Vanessa’s monologue in so effective was that, despite initial protests on his part, Louie shut up and listened to Vanessa.
I have always been a fat woman, so I don’t know what it is like to date as a thin person.
What I do know is that to date as a fat woman is complicated in ways that other people, especially thin people, don’t often seem fully able to grasp.
Fat people are told over and over that there simply isn’t enough space for fat bodies.
Of course, for me, there is no understanding of my own privilege, power, or identity as a middle-class, queer-ish, white woman that isn’t also about being a middle-class, queer-ish, white woman.