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I needed to justify why he—a conventionally attractive white man—particularly liked my small almond-shaped eyes, my unruly black hair, and my tanned skin. For interracial relationships—particularly those between a Caucasian and a racial minority—the issue of race adds another dimension of subtle power dynamics and social expectations that, when unaddressed, can lead to their premature demise.But I can say this for sure: love is not an exact science.Nevertheless, the interracial nature of our relationship had created an additional psychological hurdle, turning my thoughts against his affection.

When he hastily pulled me back from crossing in front of a moving car, I grew irritated at the assumption that he thought I couldn’t look out for myself.It is a sweeping racial stereotype, commensurate with calling Latinas “spicy” or black women “angry.” So over the next couple of months that I spent seeing him, I became subject to intermittent implosions caused by insecurities that made me feel like a mere accessory.We would be sitting in a restaurant, taking a long walk, or video chatting for hours when the question of what I was to him would hit me like a truck.Some writers who have extensively discussed racial fetishism include Homi K. The notion of "fetish" has been around for a very long time, and in fact, the origins of the word itself arose within imperial, racialized tensions.From there, fetishism has evolved to be defined as "the pathological displacement of erotic interest and satisfaction to an object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification".

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